


I like me better when I'm with you

by allways_hope



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, I just love Bucky calling the reader doll, Mutual Pining, Other, Song Lyrics, Tony Stark being the dad friend, gender neutral reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:01:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28218138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allways_hope/pseuds/allways_hope
Summary: It takes a night out, you dancing to your favorite song and a little push from a friend for Bucky to finally realize he is in love with you.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov
Kudos: 23





	I like me better when I'm with you

**Author's Note:**

> Hi so this is my first fic that I wanted to share.  
> It is mentioned that the reader has had surgery prior to the events of the fic. I tried to be as unspecific as possible with that, so that hopefully a lot of people can still relate.  
> Anyways enjoy!  
> Find me on tumblr (allways-hope) if you want to talk :D

It was now exactly three months after your surgery and finally Tony had given into Nat’s nagging to let you go out for a drink again. Tony had been overly protective of you since the surgery. You hadn’t minded but the last couple of weeks you did want to go out again. The team being the amazing family that they were hadn’t really been in the city for a drink either, so everyone was looking forward to tonight. Natasha and Wanda had made plans for everyone to go have dinner first and then go to your favorite bar after. Steve had agreed to being the designated driver for the evening as he had a hard time getting drunk anyways. You were really happy that the struggle of surgery and recovery was finally behind you. You were also really touched seeing how everyone on the team wanted to celebrate that with you. Conversation flowed easily between everyone.

Arriving at the bar Nat immediately pulled you to the bar and had the barkeeper make you favorite drink. You sat down next to each other overlooking the place. Sam, Clint and Tony had secured the one free table that was big enough for all of you, Wanda and Vision had stayed outside talking and Steve and Bucky made their way over to the two of you.

“Buck looks good tonight!” Nat whispered into your ear.

“Bucky always looks good” you sighed your answer. But you couldn’t help but notice that he did look particularly nice today. His hair parted and the upper half put in a bun, a black shirt that did nothing to hide his muscle and a pair of jeans that didn’t much either. He must have noticed you staring as he smirked at you. “Like what you see?” he asked as he stood next to you.

The two of you had grown close over the time. With him suffering from nightmares and you suffering from insomnia, the two of you had met in the kitchen in the middle of the night on more than one or two occasions. Sometimes the two of you talked about why you were up when everyone else was sleeping, other times you just silently shared some tea and a blanket. Secretly you liked him the most out of the team, you felt like there was a special kind of connection between the two of you. Understanding each other in the dark of the night without much words. And then there was the joking and teasing during the day. You had caught yourself wishing he wasn’t joking from time to time when he made a comment just like that. But you told yourself that Bucky wasn’t into you, that you were not his type and not good enough for him. So you told yourself that being friends with him just had to be enough.

Nat had made sure there was always a full glass in your hand so by the time one of your favorite songs started playing you were already slightly drunk.

_To be young and in love and in new york city_

“ooooooooh” you smiled and started singing along. Nat started grinning and pulled you of the bar stool you had been sitting on and started dancing. Bucky and Steve sat there watching you.

“God they look amazing” Bucky couldn’t help but tell his best friend.

“Hey careful there, jerk. Your talking about my girlfriend” Steve ginned at him. “But you’re not wrong”

“I was talking about y/n. But Nat looks OK too I guess.”

“So when are you going to tell them then?” Steve asked. He had watched Bucky fall for y/n for long enough. But Bucky seemed to not notice that he was in love.

“Tell them what, punk?”

There it was again. Steve wondered how someone like Bucky, who had been quite the charmer back in the day, could be so oblivious to his own feelings.

“That you like them?!”

“Oh, I tell them that almost every day.”

Taking another sip from his drink, watching you singing and dancing with your friend, Bucky started thinking.

_Damn_

_I like me better when I’m with you._

_I like me better when I’m with you._

_I knew from the first time_

_I’d stay for a long time cause_

_I like me, I like me better when I’m with you._

The lyrics of the song getting to him he realized that it was kind of true. He always sought out your company. He always felt better as soon as you were around. And he liked himself better when he was with you. He had never felt like that with anyone, not even back before the war.

“Shit Steve what is that weird feeling I have?” Bucky asked.

“What feeling? Are you actually getting drunk for once?” Steve laughed.

“Nah man. This feeling in my chest when I look at y/n. Wanting to have them close to me, wanting to protect them. Kinda scared they might meet someone and fall in love and leave.”

“You are finally letting yourself feel it then? I tried to tell you that you’re in love with them. But you never got what I was trying to say. Well now that you finally see it, what are you going to do about it?”

Steve was relieved that his friend was finally admitting his feelings even when it was just to him at the moment. Bucky thought about it for a moment. Could he do anything about it? Could he possibly tell you? But whenever he had jokingly flirted with you you had just joked back. There was never a hint that you might actually like him.

“Well I can’t do anything about it. They don’t like me that way” Bucky sighed.

By the time everyone was tired and ready to head home, you and Natasha were quite drunk. Not able to walk straight, Bucky put an arm around you to help you to the car. The two of you ended up sitting next to each other in the car as well. You hummed the song again and put your head on Bucky shoulder. Once you arrived home everyone went their way, wishing everyone a good night. Steve carried Nat to their apartment. “Night Tasha” you yelled after them, still holding Bucky's hand who had helped you out of the car.

“Wow it must be really nice to be carried to bed like that” you said, more to yourself than to Bucky.

“You wanna be carried like that, doll?” Bucky smirked at you. Without waiting for a response he took you in his arms and started to walk towards your apartment. You started singing again “’ _to be drunk and in love and in new york city_ ’. Ha I did that today!” you exclaimed grinning up at him. Bucky wondered if you meant the drunk part or the in love part and felt a bit of jealousy towards who ever you could be in love with. He sat you down in front of your door, opening it up for you.

“There you go. Good night, darling.”

You stumbled in, then turned back around, singing again “s _tay awhile, stay awhile. Stay here with me_ ”. You took his hand pulling it lightly. Bucky thought to himself that he might as well tuck you in bed, make sure you drank some water and brushed your teeth. He told you to change and brush you teeth while he grabbed a glass of water for you. Then he sat down on your bed waiting for you. You came out the bathroom in nothing but a pair of boxer briefs and started looking for the shirt you liked to sleep in the most. “There it is” you exclaimed once you saw it on your bed. You put it on, then looked at Bucky. Without thinking what you were saying you told him: “I like sleeping in this shirt the most because I stole it from you once. It doesn’t smell like you anymore though.” For a second Bucky thought his heart would stop. Why would you steal one of his shirts and sleep in it? Why did you sound sad saying that it didn’t smell of him anymore? But before he could think of any reasons you pulled him down so he lay next to you. Looking up at him with big eyes you asked “can we cuddle a bit? I don’t wanna be alone right now”

“Sure thing” he smiled at you pulling you into an embrace. You drifted of into sleep pretty much immediately, Bucky even though he had intended on leaving as soon as you had fallen asleep couldn’t bring himself to let go of you.

The next morning you woke up feeling something warm draped around your waist and along your back. You realized that Bucky must have fallen asleep next to you last night. You remembered most of what had happened and felt a bit embarrassed that you made Bucky put you to bed and cuddle with you. Turning around carefully you looked at him. He looked so much at peace. As if he belonged right there next to you. You felt a sting in your heart when you thought how much you would love to wake up next to him every morning and that he probably wouldn’t want that. Hearing you stomach growl you decided to not wait for him to wake up. You carefully slipped out of bed so not to wake him up. You slipped on a your favorite pair of pants and made you way to the kitchen. All the others were clearly still asleep so you had the kitchen all to yourself. Not wanting to dwell on the night before and how much you loved waking up cuddled up to Bucky you decided to make chocolate chip pancakes.

“Friday, put on my good mood playlist, please” you asked to AI.

“Of course, y/n”

Soon you were singing along to all the songs while making breakfast.

_To be young and in love and in new york city_

_to not know who I am but still know that I’m good long as you’re here with me_

_to be drunk and in love and in new york city_

“oooooh Friday turn up the volume a bit please” you asked as the song started. It was one of your favorites at the moment. And you remembered how much fun it was dancing to it with Nat last night. Dancing though the kitchen while singing at the top of your lungs you didn’t notice Steve and Bucky standing in the doorway watching you. Bucky had been standing there a while just watching in awe and hadn’t noticed Steve approaching either.

“Hey buddy, wow I’ve never seen them so awake so early in the morning”

Bucky jumped slightly feeling caught watching. He looked over to Steve who just smiled at him.

“They must have gotten some pretty damn good sleep last night” Steve added. “On another note, I went by your room earlier to get you for our morning run but you weren’t there. So I went on that run by myself. Looking at you all sappy and still in yesterdays clothes you didn’t go on a run alone, did you?”

“Oh sorry buddy. Must have overslept.” Bucky didn’t give much away but Steve could imagine what had happened.

“God what is that song?” Bucky asked no one in particular.

“That would be ‘I like me better’ by Lauv, Sargent Barnes” Friday provided, thereby pausing the song.

Which made you turn around. “Oh good morning, guys” you said smiling at them.

“what a good morning indeed” Bucky mumbled finally moving into the kitchen towards the fridge.

Steve went to pour himself a glass of water.

“I made pancakes. But I kinda accidentally made way to much batter. You guys want some?” You asked them pointing at the bowl of batter that was still mostly full, and the plate already loaded with pancakes next to the stove.

“Well I’d love some, thanks”

“Sounds great, thanks” came the responses. They made to set three plates at the counter as well as some fruit and syrup. The two super soldiers sat down across from where you were still making more pancakes. “Dig in” you said simply as you handed them the plate with pancakes.

“Hey is that the same shirt Bucky had?” Steve asked with a brow raised in suspicion.

“Oh ahem” you said nervously, “well I don’t know. This one is mine though.” you looked up just to find Bucky smirking at you.

“Sure it is, sugar” he smiled “looks better on you anyways”.

You felt a blush work it’s way up your cheeks. You hadn’t heard a hint of joking in his voice like it used to be. Bucky had told you often that you looked good, but mostly it was while joking around. This time it felt like he really meant it. You busied yourself with fixing a plate for yourself and putting fresh batter into the pan. The three of you started talking about how now you could finally get fully back into training and hopefully could soon go on a mission again.

“Ah it smells good in here” Tony announced as he came in. Pouring himself a large cup of coffee first, then peeking over your shoulder to see what you were making.

“Chocolate-chip pancakes, huh. Who hurt you, kiddo?” he asked immediately. Bucky and Steve looked confused.

“No one” you simply said.

Tony turned you to face him “then tell me, why are you making comfort breakfast?”

“I just wanted some. Simple as that”

“Sure thing, kiddo. Now tell me whose ass I have to kick for hurting you!”

Bucky's mind raced, why would you make comfort food. Why would you be hurt? Did he do something wrong? Were you hurt because he had fallen asleep accidentally in your bed?

You interrupted his thoughts. “It’s nothing. I’m fine, dad!”

You turned back around pulling another plate from the cupboard and putting fresh pancakes on it. You shoved it in Tony's hand hoping he would leave it alone. Why did he know that this was comfort food for you anyways? Tony left it alone for now, making a mental note to ask again later. Soon the kitchen filled with the rest of the team, all in a different state of hungover. All of them happy to accept pancakes. Steve went over to sit with Natasha at the table and Tony left as soon as he had finished. So it was just Bucky and you at the counter while the other sat at the table.

“What are your plans for the day” he asked all of a sudden.

“Well I was looking forward to some actual training. But I don’t really have plans other than that. What have you got planned?”

“Oh I missed my morning run today so I have to get that run in at some point. If you want we can train a bit together? “

“Sure would be nice to not train alone” you smiled at him.

Bucky felt like there was just a hint of sadness in your voice, and he was still trying to figure out what Tony had meant earlier. Soon you had finished making the last of the pancakes. You turned off the stove and took the plate. Setting it down on the table you told the others that this were the last and that they could clean seeing as you had cooked for everyone. Then you left. You went to your room without looking at Bucky again. Not wanting to see if he looked at you or if he made his way to go change so he could train.

Once you entered your room you felt your heart break a little. You started crying as soon as you hit your bed. Fuck, how had Tony noticed. And why had Bucky not said anything? Was he uncomfortable with what had happened the night before? But then why had he sat at the counter and not at the table to eat? And why had he stayed even when to others moved to the table? Why did he offer to train with you? Oh right you two were still like best friends. So maybe he just tried to act as if nothing had happened? You could do that as well. You got up washed your face, drank some water and changed into a training outfit.

Meanwhile Bucky had been rather confused with your sudden departure. Usually when the two of you decided to train together you made plans when to meet up or something. Still confused he made his way to his own room. After changing into clothes more fit for training and brushing his teeth and hair, he asked Friday where you were. Friday told him that you were currently in your bed, so he decided to run first.

You made your way into the training area the same time Bucky came in from his run. He grinned at you “perfect timing!” The two of you easily settled back into your old training routine, from before you had surgery. You still kept it rather easy with the weights seeing as you hadn’t lifted any in three months. But other than that everything was pretty much the same. Until Bucky started to sing on your way back to your rooms.

“'Caus I like me better when I’m with you”

Your heart jumped hearing him sing that. You were pretty sure that Bucky hadn’t known the song this morning as he had asked Friday what song it was. Hearing him sing it now made you weirdly happy. Like he had payed attention to how much you liked it and liking it as well. You couldn’t quite pin the feeling down.

“So ahem” Bucky coughed lightly, seemingly nervous as the two of you reached your room. “I was wondering. Would you maybe like to watch a movie or something with me tonight? Like just the two of us, maybe in my room?” he scratched the back of his head. And you couldn’t help but smile at how nervous he looked. “Sure thing, sugar” you repeated his words from earlier back at him. And with that you walked into your room and closed the door behind you. You asked Friday to play you favorite songs as you went and took a shower. You let yourself properly relax for the first time since waking up this morning.

Evening came around and you cursed yourself for not making exact plans with Bucky. You decided to just text him for details.

Bucky had just finished cleaning his room when he heard his phone ding.

**Hey when should I come by? And what about food, will there be snacks (aka should I bring snacks from Tony's secret stash) will there be dinner?**

**How about you go get snacks and I whip us up some dinner? Meet back in my room in 30?**

***thumb's up***

You stood in front of your wardrobe contemplating on what to wear. You kind of wanted to look nice but you also didn’t want to look like you tried too hard. You had no idea why Bucky wanted to watch a movie in his room. The two of you watched movies together a lot but usually when making plans to watch something you just used the huge TV in the shared living room. Only on rare occasions had you ended up watching something in one of your apartments. You wondered what all this was about, not quite allowing yourself to hope that maybe Bucky liked you. There was a knock on your door and then it swung open.

“Hello friend!” Natasha shouted walking in. She found you in underwear in front of the wardrobe.

“Oh, hey girl!” you smiled at her.

“Steve and I wanted to do movie night, Sam, Wanda & Vision are in. You wanna come?”

“Oh. Well Bucky and I kinda made plans to watch a movie just the two of us. But next time, honey” you shrugged at her.

“You two finally got your heads out of your asses then, huh?” Nat smirked at you.

“What are you talking about?”

“Well Steve and I have been trying to get the two of you to admit your feelings forever. Now it looks like you’re finally going on a date.”

“What? No Bucky doesn’t like me that way.” you tried your hardest not to look sad and took out a shirt just for something to do.

“How the fuck do you not see the way he looks at you?”

Nat left it alone hoping that tonight Bucky would finally make a move.

Ultimately you decided you had liked the way Bucky had looked at you when he realized you were wearing his shirt last night and this morning. So you put on you favorite pair of pants again and threw the shirt back on. Putting your hair in your favorite way and then just not giving it any more thought, you kicked Nat out of your bedroom so you could go meet Bucky.

With your arms full of snacks you knocked at Bucky's door. He opened up and smiled at you “come on in, beautiful!”

Seeing the snacks you brought he added: “wow so Tony really does have a secret stash of snacks. How come you know about it?”

“Well, he likes me the most.” you shrugged “I also had to promise not to tell anyone where it is.”.

“He’s not the only one who likes you the most” Bucky mumbled to himself walking over to his couch. You almost hadn’t heard it.

“I made pasta, hope that’s OK. So what do you want to watch?”

“Pasta sounds great, thanks for cooking by the way! And I don’t really care as long as it’s not scary.”

“Oh I know that, doll.”

The two of you settled down on the couch, happily eating the pasta and watching some random movie Friday had suggested. Once you finished your pasta and had set down the plate you turned to face Bucky.

“Hey ahem, Buck” you looked up at him shyly, “I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. I shouldn’t have made you cuddle with me.”

“Hey sugar, never apologize for wanting to cuddle ever again! I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t wanted to.” Bucky took a deep breath, this was his chance. This was the moment.

“To be honest with you, doll. I actually really enjoyed it. So much so that I couldn’t bring myself to leave and ended up falling asleep. When you weren’t there when I woke up I got scared that I overstepped and that you were angry at me for staying. But I just have to tell you. It was the best nights sleep I had in a _very_ long time.”

“You liked it?” you asked softly.

Instead of an answer Bucky pulled you close and put his arm around you. Slowly you lay your head on his shoulder. The movie ended but you didn’t want to move. You didn’t want this to end, you wanted to stay forever. So you ignored the silence for a bit. After a while Bucky put his hand under you chin and turned you hear so you had to look him in the eyes.

“You OK there, sweety?”

“Yeah I guess I just realized something and I don’t want to go back to reality just yet.” you tried not to sound too sad.

“But this is reality.” he said softy not really understanding what you were saying. “Help me out honey, your head on my shoulder feels very real to me” he chuckled.

“I just don’t want it to end” you whispered before you could stop yourself.

Bucky couldn’t stop the smile that spread on his face, nor did he want to. He didn’t want this to end either. So he sang: “ _stay a while. Stay a while. Stay here with me_ ”

“If it makes you feel better we could always put another movie on, pretend there is a different reason why you’re still here. Or we could just enjoy the moment and the comfort.”

You had to smile now yourself, finally realizing that Bucky liked having you this close, that he wanted you to stay just as much.

“Hey Friday, can you play my new favorite song please?” Bucky asked the AI.

_To be young and in love and in new york city_

_to not know who I am but still know that I’m good long as you’re here with me_

_to be drunk and in love and in new york city_

_midnight into morning coffee_

_burning through the hours talking_

You looked at Bucky confused now. As far as you knew he hadn’t even known that song this morning. Bucky picking up on your confusion explained

“Seeing you dancing and singing along to that song, seeing how much you liked the song made me love it immediately. I kind of also realized something yesterday with help of that song. And Steve and Nat have been pushing me to tell you all day.” He looked at you carefully, trying to read you expression to see if you wanted him to stop. But you just looked at him expectantly. So he leaned in. a strong hand brushing your cheek and finally his soft lips met yours. Your hears immediately started racing as well as your mind. Was this really happening? Was this a dream? Did Bucky actually like you like that? After a second or two you kissed him back. Bucky pulled back after a short while.

“I just have to say it, doll. I like me better when I’m with you” The two of you grinned at each other.

“Yeah well, honey. I like me better when I’m with you as well.” you whispered and then leaned back into another kiss.


End file.
